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  • 14 Things You Should NEVER Say to Someone Who's Had a Miscarriage

    I've started writing this blog so many times over the past, gosh, five years. But every time I would stop and think — would anyone even get it? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks like this. Then Chrissy Teigen and John Legend suffered a crushing loss and just by sharing it on my Instagram stories it started a frenzy of DMs. I got into all-nighters with complete strangers; people I know "socially"; and even people who I would consider friends... but I never knew they miscarried. Those women shared their stories — each and every one heartbreaking in their own right — and told me the best and WORST things someone said to them after their miscarriage. Some things people said right away... some things people still say today. And we get it — you all don't know because you haven't been there. I was that very person once. But let me — and several of my closest Instagram friends — teach you what you should never say to someone who has had a miscarriage. {While writing this, "She Used to Be Mine" by Sara Bareilles came on Spotify and it perfectly sums up that girl who went through a miscarriage 5 years ago. It changes you — no matter who you are, how many weeks you were, or how long it's been. So, excuse any typos, as I'll now be writing this through sobs.} "Only" 7 weeks? Okay, well then you're on a devastation level of like a 2, right? Wrong. If you know you're pregnant you're far enough along to be any level of devastation. Hey, if your baby, who's actually living and breathing, died, how would you feel if someone cited some stats about drownings, or SIDS, or car accidents, or cancer? Statistics are not comforting, trust me. Yea, sure, let's celebrate that tiny silver lining. But also, I have no interest in ever going through a miscarriage again, so every future pregnancy is now tainted with constant fear. I'll never get my "first" back. Yea, uterus, what is it about this baby that made it so you couldn't hang on, exactly? Let's not do that again. Still pissed at you, btw. {Fact: 75% of repeat miscarriages have an unknown cause — so do not come at someone with your 'why's'.} The equally-as-annoying cousin to the above: "Everything happens for a reason." There may be a logical explanation, but that will never be reason enough for me to understand why this had to happen. Please please spare me your religious bullshit. Having something wrong with my baby wouldn't make me want or love it any less, for starters. And, without proper testing, who's to say there was something wrong with baby? Some people may not have the chance or resources to find out the biological reason, so let's not speculate that there was something "wrong" with my baby. Mmmkay? Anywhere else is just not good enough. Look, I get the excitement, but this is not the time. There is nothing exciting or enticing about trying right now, so don't even ask about when we'll start trying again. But thank you for putting that thought into my head... Also see: "Maybe this is your sign from god that you should be done." I'll be sure to tell all of my miracle babies that if you were their mother, they wouldn't exist, because you would have thrown in the towel by now. The latest golden nugget! Let's just sit on our who-ha's and wait for the world to be utter perfection before we bring a baby into it. Newsflash: it's never going to happen!! But do you know what does bring light into a shit world? Beautiful babies. Think about it, feel it, relive it in my head at least once a year on the anniversary. Yea, it was a death — I'm forever a little broken from it. But hey, if you're able to get over the loss of someone that close to you and never think about it, good for you, Satan. I thankfully have never been through this, but any time I hear that someone has said this, I cringe. Their pain is no less because they have other kids already. And by the way, caring for other kids while mourning a miscarriage is probably one of the hardest, most gut-wrenching reminders and exhaustions of life. So cut her some damn slack, and stfu. And then there's the tricky one. The one that doesn't get a quote card because... it's true. "I know that miscarriage sucked, but now you have these perfect babies, and you probably wouldn't have them if you hadn't miscarried." Knife to my gut. It's like saying I "chose" the twins over our miscarried baby. Of course, I know I didn't choose — my body chose for me. But thinking of our miscarried baby as collateral damage or a "sacrifice" for the life we have now just doesn't sit well with me. I'll never thank him for "taking one for the team." If you've made it this far, congrats — you're a really good friend, fam member, or supporter who wants to learn. So I figured I would share with you something that is good to say... To every mom who has ever miscarried, this is our letter to you: I'm here for whatever you need — venting, silence, drinking, distractions — anything. I'm not always going to know what to do, and I'm going to follow your lead, but know that you're loved, you're insanely strong, and you will get through this. You won't forget, and you may never stop aching, but you will be happy and excited one day. We truly believe that — even if you don't, yet —we'll hold on to it until you do believe it. Take your time getting there, though — no one is rushing you. Be where you need to be, and we'll be there with you. Know that no matter how long you carried your baby, you are still a mom. You still dreamt about what the baby would look like and who's personality they'd have and what they'd be when they grew up — and you cared for them just as much as you would if they were on the outside. They will always be your baby — just as much as any of your other babies. There's this beautiful quote that says, "Grief is just love that has nowhere to go." If it's constantly in the air around you — consuming you, streaming down your face in tears, living in all the shattered pieces of your heart, or in a picture frame thrown across the room in a fit of rage — that's okay. Or, if years later, that grief gives you a moment of peace when you think about that baby and oddly miss the person you never truly knew — but you also feel thankful for having "known" them at all — that's okay, too. The grief will probably always be with you, and that's kind of a good thing, because that means you'll always be surrounded by their love, and your love for them. I'll leave you with something that my husband used to say to me when we were going through our miscarriage and infertility journey. Something that used to drive me insane at the time, but is now pretty much my pregnancy tagline... Keep your eye on the prize, babe. Love, Your Fellow Rainbow Mamas

  • My Top 10 Quarantine Essentials {for Survival}

    Survival is such a strong word... but if you don't feel it's a necessary term to accurately portray quarantine — or 2020 in general — well then hot damn, aren't you just one lucky duck? I, on the other hand, plop on the couch at the end of each day thinking, praise wine, we survived another day in quarantine. I get that quarantine is starting to soften a little {depending where you live}, but with the colder {and darker ::insert whining emoji::} months coming — paired with flu season — quarantine-woes are about to ramp right back up. I know I just gave you the worst feeling of dread, but I had to dramatically set this up so you fully appreciate my essentials for survival list ;-) No way in 2020 {aka, hell} would I survive quarantine without each and every one of these things. I highly suggest you adding them to your quarantine kit ASAP. {Cuz, ya know, shipping will take 10-12 weeks. #kidding #hopefully} DearMom Wine Or, as I like to call it: pocket wine. The cans are so perfectly adorable that they have been easy to grab when we're headed out the door for a walk around the neighborhood, or to head to a picnic. Look, 2020 is hard, no one is judging you for pulling a tiny sippy-wine out of your pocket at the park. If they're staring, chances are they really just want to know where you got that... and if you brought more. STOCK UP: My favs are Sparkletown {pop, pour into OJ, survive the morning} & Oregon Red {relaxation in a can}; $16.99 - 4-pack {also search local stores because they just popped up near me!} TENS Machine Right before quarantine set in, I became addicted to the chiropractor. Like, give me a quickie chiro adjustment over an hour-long massage any day. But then the chiro closed at the start of the pandemic, right about the time we moved, during which I threw out my back the worst I have in my life. I'm not talking "laid up" back sprain, I'm talking, it was so painful I couldn't lay, or even breathe. My chiro told me to get a TENS machine and Biofreeze. The hubs picked up this pocket pain pro and not only did it nurse me back to health after two uses, but I now have the mac daddy and it is LIFE-CHANGING, I tell ya! INVEST: They're not expensive at all, and you can grab the pocket one from Target {$40}, or the mac daddy on Omron's website {currently on sale for $99!!} TIU App If you know me, or follow me on Insta, you know I'm a die-hard Tone It Up girl. For those who don't know, TIU is a workout phenomenon by Katrina Scott and Karena Dawn — aka K&K. They have free workouts on their website, host a handful of Insta-Live workouts each week from one of their TIU-trainers, anddd they have an app with hundreds {thousands??} of workouts. So many reasons I love TIU and their app, but my top reasons would be: K&K are in their late 30s and look BOMB so it's super motivational; they're hilar and real and FUN; their workouts are hard, no matter how many times you do them; and there's a workout for every body, mood, timeframe, or day. YOU NEED IT: Tone It Up App; $99/year {you can do a 7-day free trial to check it out first! Follow my TIU highlights on Insta for my fav ones to try on demand} Gear That Says Something And not just says something, but supports something. I don't care what you support, but of all times, in all of history, you should be supporting something this year. It's just a bonus if the something you support comes with some cool gear so you can further the message. I adore @kbousq and all that she stands for {and teaches about social media}, so when she came out with this sweatshirt that gave 100% of proceeds to the Black Visions Collective, I had to have it. It's a conversation starter and stance-maker that I'm proud to rock {plus, it's stupid cozy}. SPEAK LOUDER: This crewneck is currently sold out, but she restocks periodically {$36}! While you're there, peruse a little, because her other stuff is sooo cute, and also has a message. Blendtec Blender Besides SoulCycle, one of the things I missed the most when I stopped going into the office was my weekly South Block fix. If you've never had a South Block acai bowl you are missing out on so many taste buds. My Blendtec is the only saving grace to try and recreate my SB fav {warrior bowl, add coconut on top, almond butter on the side, get in my bellayyyy}. Here's my go-to recipe for recreating my at-home warrior! BLEND IT: Blendtec with bonus smoothie-sized blender {$420} - This price is insane, I know. The hubs found it major on sale at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, so look around for sales! But hands down well worth the investment - I've killed many a blenders before and this one has held strong. Oh So Retro Life Planner You know people always say that when they decide to be a SAHM they wonder how they had so much time before? That's kind of how I feel about quarantine — like, how does being forced to stay at home now feel so much busier and overwhelming?! Here we are, quarantine-deep, and I couldn't find my head most days without my Erin Condren Life Planner. I scoured the earth for the perfecttt planner {I'm kind of a planner snob} and love that you can tailor it however you need {daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, 18-months, or all of the above}, and customize and personalize the look. I feel like every mom of a school-aged kid with 87 Zooms a week needs this planner. PLAN IT: I have the Oh So Retro Life Planner and it's my life line; $41 {currently on sale!} TanLuxe Look, I don't know about you, but life is just better when you're tan. Even a slight glow makes me happier. Those indoor vitamin D lights {or whatever they are} sound great, but give me a little faux-glow and I feel like an insta-human. I'm buying stock in this stuff as we enter colder seasons and naturally become pasty, because quarantine + paleness does not = happiness in my book. This is my newest fav tan stuff — you add drops right into your regular lotion so there's no need to apply 16 different skincare products before bed #bless. No streaks, no smells, no weird fade, just pure golden glisten. I've had my bottle for 5ish months and it's not even halfway gone. BE GOLDEN: I have the body one, but also use it in my face lo {$53}. There's a specific face one, too, if you fancy {$48}. ALL The Crafts If you've made it through quarantine without tie-dying, planting, or chalking something... what have you been doing with your time?! You've had to have run out of Netflix by now. I jumped on the tie-dye wagon pretty early, and that was just my gateway craft. Then I ended up with acrylic markers for coloring rocks #kidfriendly; fabric markers for turning my flares into a whole 90s vibe; all the scrapbook paper and mags for a vision board; glue guns for making my own masks #mamadontsew; and my latest: beads for mask lanyards! Now, I've yet to crack open the Cricut box, but that's my ultimate quarantine goal. Whatever you fancy, hit up Walmart, Michaels, or JoAnn fabrics and buy a craft — it's seriously therapeutic. GET CRAFTY: A few of my favs: Tulip one-step tie-dye kit {$29.99}; Bead variety box for mask lanyards {$19.99}; Fabric markers {$12.99} Stationary Bike I find that term to be sooo boringgg, because to me, this cycle bike is more than just a stationary workout machine — it has literally been my therapist. Well, the bike is kind of like the couch — my actual therapist has been @bombchelledc. When SoulCycle closed, my soul went off to cry in a quarantine-corner — so when Michelle started doing cycle-guided workouts {and Zoom HIITs}, I came back to life. I'm not even kidding you that one day when I look back on quarantine, I'll wonder how we got through it and then I'll think of these rides and know — that's how. RIDE IT OUT: First, buy the bike {$350}, then follow @bombchelledc, subscribe to her newsletter, and get free cycle workouts, HIITs, recipes, and mantra-reminders in your inbox weekly. MASKS, DUH Hi, did you think I could make a quarantine essentials list without masks!? What would be quarantine even without masks? Probably just regular life. We know dang well if I have to wear a mask while doing hair {and shopping, and hanging, and all the things} it's going to have to be cute, comfy, and breathable. I've tried my fair share and these two are my favs — one found on Etsy, and the other is shockingly... Hanes?! Yea, I was just as mind-blown, but they fit and feel the best. MASK UP: My fav set from Etsy is a tie-dye set #shocker {$19.99 3-pack}; Hanes 100% cotton 5-pack masks at Walmart {$7.50} Hang in there, guys, wear your mask, wash your hands, drink your tiny wine, and we'll all get through this together.

  • 6 Ways to Style This $5 Walmart Shirt

    What, you don't shop at Walmart? You will after this. Don't throw shade - think outside the box. When something is $5 I buy now and think later — and once I started thinking, the outfit options were endlesss. I'll include links to similar pieces used in each outfit so you can complete the look (most of my looks were created using ancient pieces I already had, but I'll point you in the right direction. Got you, boo.). For starters, you'll need that shirt, yea? I'm in an XS, for reference — I could have gone for a S or M, but it's all they had, and again - five dollarsss. They have it in three colors (I'm in the "red," which is more like a burnt orange), and for the price, you kind of need all three... #iknowido Every Day Casual-Cute Look Maybe she's a blogger, maybe she's just running into Trader Joe's — maybe it's both. This is the perfect getup for running errands and then rolling right into a photoshoot... or happy hour. Get the look: Date Night or GNO Hey all you cool cats & kittens... yea, okay, it's played out — but animal print will never be. Get the look: Outdoor Concert Vibes Anyone else itchinggg to go to a live concert? Yea, just imagine me, wearing this, rocking to some Chris Stapleton. Concert or not, it's the perfect summer-to-fall transition look. Get the look: Backyard BBQ Dying for one last beach getaway, but since that'sss not going to happen, I'll just wear this to a {socially distanced} backyard BBQ, pop a Simpler Wine in Mango (have you had!? I'm obsessed), and pretend. Get the look: Brunchin' No pandemic going to keep me from a bloody mary and eggs bennie, mmmmk? So what if it's on my sister's patio... Get the look: MomLife-Friendly She's a little bit country — she's a little bit boho. Love this for a "hi, I'm a mom, but kind of cool and chill and we should be friends" look for a daycare event or backyard BBQ. Get the look: Watch the full transformation here! This was one of the most fun videos I've ever filmed and edited, and oh-so-sweaty. Mad props to the bloggers who do this on the reg.

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Pages (18)

  • Life | Nikki Cagle

    LIFE the latest in beauty fitness ​ ​ WHAT'S NEW IN: 14 Things You Should NEVER Say to Someone Who's Had a Miscarriage Whether immediately after a miscarriage, or years down the line, there are just some things you should NEVER say. My Top 10 Quarantine Essentials {for Survival} No way in 2020 {aka, hell} would I survive quarantine without each and every one of these things. 10 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO'S TRYING TO GET PREGNANT I get it, you mean well, but unless you've been there it's hard to know what to say. But let's start with what you should NEVER say. How to Shop SHEIN.com For The Good Stuff If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I shopped SHEIN.com, then I could shop SHEIN, like, daily {'cause I don't alrea Drunken Cranberries Recipe: The Best Homemade Cranberry Sauce Any time I can lace a dish with alcohol — especially for the holidays — well, sign me right on up. You're going to want to make a triple Don't You Dare Make Me Feel Bad For Being Healthy Let's be clear — I don’t give a shit what you think about my healthy lifestyle. But that doesn't mean that your pestering and snide BACK TO BLOG >>

  • Fitness | Nikki Cagle

    WHAT'S NEW IN: beauty life FITNESS the latest in 20 Day Quaran-Crunch Challenge for Poppin' Abs I was quarantine-complacent, so I made myself a 20-day core challenge just to prove to myself I could do it. Now let me prove you can, too. 20-Day Core Crush Challenge Oh how I love an ab challenge!! It's 20-days, ya'll, and maybe 5-10 minutes of your day. You CAN DO THIS. Get Off Your Bum And Squat It I have this theory that our bums should be sore from squating, not from sitting on them all. quarantine. long. Squat with me! Living The Lunge Life Love 'em or not, the proof is in the pudding — lunges are the way to long, lean, cut legs. Or, as most refer to them: Carrie Underwood legs. 3-Week Ab Challenge: Planks, Crunches & Weighted Abs Abs for dayssss... 21 days, to be exact. I made up this 3-week challenge to get my mom-tum summer ready, and I gotta tell ya, for just a cou 2019 Workout Calendar: Tone It Up Style A quote, challenge, or Tone It Up-themed inspiration for every month of the year so you can build your own workout calendar, and track how b BACK TO BLOG >>

  • Services | Silver Linings Salon

    SERVICES SERVICES SERVICES MENU cut & style prices start at $35 and vary based upon length and thickness color, cut & style prices start at $100 and vary based upon color treatment, length and thickness style prices start at $60 and vary based upon length and thickness blowout prices start at $40 and vary based upon length and thickness bridal please inquire for specific pricing Please reload INQUIRE ABOUT AN APPOINTMENT WEDDINGS LOOK BOOK HAIR TUTORIALS

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